AAAGH! DEAF MEN TAKE NOTE ASAP!
Just read this study in Pharyngula. It states that men who keep pagers/cell phones/pdas on hip or in pocket have reduced sperm count, fertility, and possible general sexiness. FIND ANOTHER PLACE.
It also says men who look at explicit porn have higher sperm count too, so there's an excuse.
Back at work today. Accomplished everything I wanted on my vacation. Feeling smug.