Thursday, January 06, 2005

electricity sucks doesn't it

i mean, they used - still use, some places - electricity on gay people's brains. they send little shocks inside the head and hope it shocks them somehow to normality. it causes people an immense amount of physical pain, not to mention the mental struggles people are forced through as they try to figure out if they are who they are.

then they take away babies from people and put them into surgery and put things that carry electricity into their heads in order to make them, what, less deaf before they can be Deaf, more hearing, whatever. sometimes i think they're just there to remind people of how different they are, so they can spend the rest of their lives trying not to be, with the electricity a threat behind the ears. one day it could break right? i mean you could go back to surgery and they could decide, couldn't they, that you're a bad fake hearing person, and make a little adjustment, and then one day you'd feel the pain arcing through your head, all hot and blue, and maybe you won't be so bad a fake anymore. maybe you'd even be real.

and sometimes people use electricity to talk to another person, connect to them, figure them out. sometimes people use electricity to lie, to make up this whole world, these whole words, and then when they feel like it they take the electricity away, and you don't realize you've become addicted to it. and it hurts, just like addiction does when you're trying to get away from it. it causes a kind of pain that makes you doubt yourself, doubt the world, and even the rain doesn't clean you.

not that rain cleans anything. in new york.

of course if electricity didn't exist they'd use something else. rocks maybe. whatever's handy.

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